Haunt Thy Murderer
by Maeve Riannon
Summary: We all thought at one point or another that Kenshin would NEVER find it in himself to propose Kaoru, right? Well, in the end, we learned that he did it somehow. But, who helped him? (Not To Be Taken Too Seriously- maybe even better without the "too"-)


Ever wondered about WHO gave Kenshin the little push? Admit it, he was completely unable to do it for himself…

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki.

Haunt Thy Murderer

"WHAT?" I narrowed my eyes, full of exasperation at his half-whispered statement. "You…didn´t tell her yet?"

"I didn´t say I would!" he defended himself, putting his hands in front of his face.

"Kenshin, let´s be serious. You bought that ring two months ago!"

"Only because you…oh, forget about it! In fact, I believe that…that we´re not prepared, that is."

 "Exactly WHO is not prepared?"

Argh. How did one manage to change that much in everything else but remain always the same blockhead? Three years, three! doing the impossible to try to get him to propose that girl, who seemed just about to commit seppuku out of desperation…and did I get rewarded for my exertions? Oh, nooo. He´s not prepared.

Not prepared. And I? Was _I_  prepared?

"Either you ask suddenly out of the blue to a woman you met one month ago and who doesn´t even know your real name, or you wait for years and years to ask another who is hopelessly in love with you since the first time she set eyes on you! It´s clear your abilities don´t include sense of opportunity, to say the least."

"Oh, thank you." he answered with faked indifference. Then, he walked a few steps to sit upon a stone and clutched his sakabatou, as he did whenever he felt nervous for any reason.

Hmmm…That wasn´t such a bad signal.

"You did not dare, did you?"

Now, it was his turn to narrow his eyes. That expression…Seventeen years ago I would have been frightened, you know.

"How did you know I tried?"

"You´ve just told me."

(Groan)

"I didn´t even get to be alone with her. Sano and Yahiko were around all the time."

"But…do you think this is an answer? There´s always a way to find privacy when you really want it!"

_Pissed him off?_

_No, not yet._

"And now, tell me the TRUE reason why you think you shouldn´t make your proposal to Kamiya Kaoru."

Redhead boy sighed, turning to face me while he stood up, and I nodded. Whenever he did that, I knew, there was no place for lies or half-truths anymore. He was looking at _me._

"I am still not convinced that this would be a good thing." he uttered, slowly and intently. I raised an eyebrow.

"For who?"

"She´s…she´s eleven years younger than me, remember!"

"Which makes, um, twenty-one." I exposed, with a matter-of-fact tone. Really, Kenshin, you can be so dense sometimes… "In my time, if you weren´t married at twenty-one..well, there wasn´t the slightest doubt that you were a very ugly hag indeed."

"Those traditions are a bit old-fashioned now.."

"What? Are you calling me old?"

He seemed surprised, when he shook his head. "No! That´s not what I meant. But twenty years ago, in the old era, traditions were more…respected."

Hah. Respect for tradition, lack of respect for tradition, whatever. Men always find a way to benefit from either.

"And let me say that, judging from the looks she gives you whenever you´re alone with her, your little friend seems quite old-fashioned to me. Or maybe- oh, yes, that´s it!- maybe she´s just IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

Then,  suddenly, it happened.

His muscles tensed.

_Pissed him off  at last._

"NO!" I tried to say, but it was too late. His eyes widened, and his face changed when he twisted his mouth and…

…gave me THAT rurouni grin.

"Besides, sessha is not worthy of her, that he is not."

Oh, no, no, no..Wrong direction. Wrong direction.

"Himura Kenshin." I said very serious, hoping this tone would work. "_Stop_ it, please."

He let the grin down, but without changing his tone. Well, small mercies of life…

"Sessha thinks this is true."

"And has "sessha" thought that maybe she doesn´t care a jot about worthiness? "I inhaled deeply." That she wants you and that´s all?"

"Sessha is a wanderer without anything to give her."

And VERY dense, I daresay…

(But well, that I did have the  opportunity of discovering for myself long ago, didn´t I?)

"Ummm…anata, I can think of quite a number of things you could give her, and that I´m sure she would appreciate. It´s not too difficult, you know.. But..uh, what´s the matter? Why are you so red in the face? Breathing problems?"

Oh, come on…

"Sessha was a hitokiri. His hands are stained with the blood of…ahem…"

"Many victims. "I finished for him with the saintliest of smiles, making the motion as if to pat his head. "Well, I thought we had already settled that, didn´t we? That was long ago, your atonement took you a lot of years, and now you lead a peaceful life with the only purpose of helping people. Anyway, if you´re still in need of further atonement…"

"Erm..what?"

I smiled again at his curious expression. "…Then you have another reason to marry her quickly! Think about it, you´ll be able to atone for your sins everyday. Not just when some cracked schizoid guy decides to take over the nation, or kill your friends because you killed, ahem, his sister!"

"Um…do you mean her cooking?" His face took a guilty expression. "She does not cook that bad, that she doesn´t. Besides, I do it most of the times."

_Indeed you do._ I thought, shuddering at the distant remembrance of Kamiya Kaoru´s Special´s smell, which could even drive away the spirits of the dead. _And not only out of kindness!_

"No, I did not say it because of that." I answered aloud. "Yet I agree it´s valid as well."

"Oh… I understand now what you mean!" he grinned then with sudden realization. "But you don´t have to worry for me. It doesn´t hurt that much, it´s only a bokken, after all…And..well, none will deny her fists are bigger words, but… it´s nothing I´m not used to! I´ve always had it rough, you know. Used to be impaled in the ceiling, bitten at the shoulder, pierced, burnt and all…Not to speak about psychological trauma. All those women dying for me…ahem."

 "I really should ask her how does she do those things…"I mused aloud, after making a show of ignoring his last statement. " Like knocking you over the roof of the dojo. Hmm…I love that! In fact, from the results, it seems it´s just what you´ve always needed. Wish I had known it before…"

"Stop it, you´re scaring me." he said. His tone seemed amused, and, as I  turned to look at him closer, I suddenly thought I was seeing my redhead boy of the past (Some seventeen years older). This made me feel a little nostalgic for a moment, but I was quick at swallowing the lump in my throat.

Sigh. You´d better stop acting like an old drunkard and do something useful…

"Listen, Kenshin. I know, and understand, that there has to be a time for knowing each other, to think about it and about the consequences. Things should not be –coughcough- done rashly. But there is a moment, if you know a girl from four years ago, and she has grown to be a woman who has shared her house and her life, and also plenty of dangers, with you, and is obviously waiting for you (and learn to appreciate that I´m saying "waiting" THOUGH I see it as the biggest understatement in the world!) to make your move, when you should really start to think in making her, and yourself, happy. Once you´ve begun postponing it more than what is due, it´s not consideration anymore, it´s a dangerous hesitance that can make both of you suffer. Understood?"

Yes, he had understood. He gave me a long appreciating glare, and I knew that this time it had got deeper inside him.

And yet, hadn´t he seemed also pretty convinced last time?… Hmpf.

"Thank you very much for all." he said, bowing his head for a flicker of a second (Well, maybe two flickers of  second). "Now, I´m afraid that I have things to do…"

"Laundry?" I smirked. He grunted something I could not hear.

"Erm..er…go fishing with Sanosuke, actually. He must be waiting for me.."

"So early in the morning? You´re crazy if you really pretend to make me believe you´re expecting him to be awake at this hour."

"I have to prepare breakfast before I go."

_And he says he has nothing to give…_

"Uh? What are you muttering?"

"Nothing. "I reassured him. "But, before you go, you have to promise me one thing."

His eyes at that moment were as wide as they must have been when his mother gave him birth, or so I deemed. Aw, he was so good at that…

"What thing?"

Could have fooled anybody.

"Promise you will do it, or at least that you will ponder carefully everything I´ve said."

_You won´t escape me this time._

"Very well." he sighed, playing the victim though it was evident enough that he had got the message this time. "I promise."

"And you will not allow ANYTHING to come in the way of your promise, as it, ahem,  usually happens. Do you understand?"

Rurouni grin once more.

"But that´s not sessha´s fault!"

"Yes, but…"

"Listen. I promise I´m going to give her that ring. "The grin was gone again, and only a serious expression remained on his face. A very serious one. "Is my word reliable for you?"

It seemed…

…what?…

…maybe…

_…Yes!!!_

"I KNEW you would say this one day! Oh, Kenshin, you´ve made me so happy!" I really did not know I, of all people, could be so expressive, but there it was. I had become a whirl of energy! "You´ll have a wonderful wedding. And a lot of children! And you´ll be happy at last. And…"

"Oro… er, I mean, wait!"

"What?" I challenged him, my hands in my hips. If he dared to step back, I´d…

"We do not know yet if she´ll say yes."

…..

Definitely…dense.

"Oh, just worry about your role, she´ll take care of hers." I said, dismissing the issue with a wave of my hand. "Well, now that we have got over this point at last, there only remains an issue before parting. I…I think I need to give you some advice."

"Advice?" he echoed. "What kind of advice?"

"Advice that may be helpful for you to get it right, keep her happy and have a joyful married life, of course! I won´t allow you to screw up what I´ve been trying to make happen for so many years. And now, listen. First thing is…"I began, merrily motioning him to sit on the stone once more and taking breath. " Don´t pay attention to what your inner voice says about that particular issue; whatever undeserved bliss you think you´re experiencing, just act as if you were completely worthy of it."

"Oro.. I mean…what?"

Hihi, he seemed so lost.

"Oh, come on, don´t disdain the voice of wisdom and experience…You can believe I know very well what I´m speaking about, don´t you? Now, for the second: She´s definitely NOT afraid of you, of your past, present, future or of all your so-called alter-egos. So learn to live with it."

Wow, his face seemed such a poem. I was really enjoying myself, for once…

Evil is fun.

"Thirdly: though from a rational point of view it should be a compliment for her to be mistaken for me when you´re both together, she won´t act rational at all if you do it. Sorry, anata."

He seemed offended, with this one.

"As if I intended to do that!"

"Oh, right, right. It was just a suggestion." I explained. "Well, now on with the others. In fourth place, get this into your head: She wants to see you naked. You want to see her naked. There´s absolutely nothing shameful, evil or dangerous in this."

This time, he couldn´t help it…

"Orooo?"

Well, he had promised…That meant: no escape whatsoever.

"You can also make crystal clear that if she dies for you it will be a completely useless thing, since you will kill yourself inmediately after out of grief and guilt. But, ahem, better forget about this. "I giggled. "And now, for the last one. In my opinion, this is the most important skill you have to learn in order to be a good husband and live a happy married life for many years. I´d even call it basic…

"Which skill?" he asked, involuntarily stepping backwards as if to protect himself. I took the challenge and gave a step forwards, while, nonchalantly, I caressed my bleeding back until I got my hand into the deep slice I had all across it. Yuck, it was still horrible after so many years, that sensation of …void.

"Aim." I smiled calmly before dissappearing from his sight. "Keep practicing."

(The end)

Well, that´s what happens when you like a dead character and you cannot stand to write AU´s…And when you don´t want to take anything too seriously because it´s bad for your health…

Terms:

Seppuku: Suicide.

Sakabatou: Sword with a reversed blade, Kenshin´s weapon. (He has something like sword addiction)

Rurouni: Wanderer.

Sessha: "This unworthy/lowly/humble one". Stands for the lower form of saying "I" in Japanese; Kenshin uses it.

Hitokiri: Master assassin.

Bokken: Wooden sword used for practicing.

Anata: Beloved (the woman to the man)

Oro: Um….er…how could I explain it? It´s something like "Uh", sometimes "ow", "aaah" or even "shit". Supposedly it comes from "ara".


End file.
